I'm in the Endgame now
by Solbevek
Summary: A guy who has never seen Endgame before gets to experience it... as Thanos. As for the Mad Titan himself... he pretty much stays the same. SI-OC!Thanos. Two-shot at the moment
1. I am Inevitable

**I don't think I should have to say it but just in case for those of you who haven't seen it: ENDGAME SPOILERS**

**And please no spoilers in the reviews. **

A whole year has passed since Infinity War came out. Since Thanos won and snapped half of all life from the universe.

Tears have been shed. Memes have been made. I got a pretty neat 'snapped' badge.

Now that a year has passed I can finally see Endgame. Witness how the Avengers defeat Thanos and reverse the snap. And I've finally gotten tickets after barely avoiding three weeks worth of spoilers.

Now all I have to do is drive to the theater. What could possibly go wrong?

1 Hour Later 

Apparently what looks to be about one hundred trucks falling from the sky.

I am now regretting my choice of words from earlier.

Shiiiiiiiiii-

——————————————————————

-Iiiiiiiiiiiiit

I died. I am dead. Or at least I should be dead. For whatever reason I still feel alive, different but alive.

I open my eyes to find myself in a hut of sorts. My hut.

I raise my hands only to find a giant purple hand and- What the hell?! The Infinity Gauntlet?!

But before I could get a better look at I get a massive migraine. Suddenly images flood into my head. It's almost as if I'm watching someone's entire life flashing before my eyes. But the most defining memory was the last. A snap.

I know who's body this is. I am in the body of the Mad Titan himself. Thanos.

"Oh shit." I said out loud. How the hell did this happen?! Getting run over by trucks and reincarnating only works in fanfiction and isekai anime!!

"Ok calm down. It's not that bad. It's not tha- WHY AM I IN SO MUCH PAIN!!"

From my memories I remember using the stones to destroy themselves, which lead to nearly killing me.

Why the fuck would you give up the power of the Infinity Gauntlet?! Apparently from my memories it was to prevent myself from lusting for power, buddy you were the most powerful, and to stop the Avengers from reversing the Snap. Damn it Thanos those were good reasons but now I'm stuck on this planet with no ship.

Damn it I'm too tired for this crap. So I get on the bed and fall asleep. I just hope I can heal from this before the Avengers come after me.

The Next Day

I get out of bed and head to the bathroom to start my daily routine. It's been five minutes before I noticed something was wrong. I was not purple or that big. Plus my chin was abnormal.

So I'm still here, it's not a dream. But that means I'm stuck with these injuries. Luckily for me that Thanos had enough common sense to have a first aid kit. Unluckily for me it's going to take a while to heal.

But I can't take the time to heal. I have no idea when the Avengers will arrive. And I'm pretty sure that this will end poorly. But fuck it I don't want to die again, at least not without a fight.

I walk outside to find some armor on a scarecrow. Good, I'll need it. I strip it and put it on. I go back to the hut to look for a weapon. The only one Thanos brought here was a double bladed sword. Neat, even if it looks impractical. But any weapon is better than no weapon.

Now I need to prepare as there is no way I can take on the Avengers in this state. Not only am I injured but even with Thanos' memories and combat experience I personally haven't gotten into any fights. So I'll cheat instead.

My biggest trump card is the Infinity Gauntlet and the fact that the stones are destroyed. Use that as bait to ambush Thor and then pick off everyone else. Hohoho, delightfully devilish Thanos.

——————————————————————

Really? Not even a week, but two bloody days?! Well shit, I'm not so confident about this but my life is on the line.

CRASH

Oh shit I forgot about Captain Marvel. Then again I forgot she existed since her movie. Double shit since I left the Gauntlet….

This is very bad. Ok, calm down. New plan, steal the ship and pray they don't notice. Incredibly desperate but hey, there's no way they'd kill off Thanos that fast. Fuck yeah let's do this!

One Desperate Struggle Later

"Ow ow ow ow ow ok ok everything hurts everything hurts." Turns out that trying to fight off Captain Marvel and a pissed off Thor isn't a good idea. The others were just icing the Thanos beatdown cake.

"Where are the stones!" Black Widow asked. In any other situation talking to any of the Avengers, except Carol, would've had me gushing like a schoolgirl. But losing two arms tends to damper excitement.

"They gone you dipshit. If I had them you'd all be recked faster than you can say 'you should've gone for the head'." I'm more than sure this isn't gonna end with me in prison, definitely getting killed so why not have a little fun. Plus I'm pissed off from my beatdown.

For that I earned a stab from Stormbreaker and a growl from Thor. "You used them two days ago!" Banner demands.

"I destroyed the stones with the stones. Like a stone pickaxe in Minecraft with stone, heh. So go ahead and kill me you feckless cunts, you can't reverse this. You ran from it, you dreaded it, but destiny has arrived and it is here to stay bitches. So deal with it." I taunt.

The last thing I see is Thor charging up Stormbreaker. So he took my advice then. He went for the head.

Hopefully when I do reincarnate I'll be in a different time and place. Because dying after two days is just bull.

——————————————————————

Where am I? The last thing I can remember was using the Infinity Stones to destroy themselves so balance couldn't be reversed.

I open my eyes to find myself in what appears to be a hospital room surrounded by doctors and nurses.

A flood of memories comes in my head. These are memories of a being called Scott Llannis. He was average, and lived an average life until one hundred buses landed on him. If that was the result of the destruction of the Infinity Stones then I apologize for the unfortunate circumstance.

Somehow by destroying the Infinity Stones I've been sent to another universe. This could be the only explanation for where I am.

This isn't too impossible to believe. All six Infinity Stones allowed for one to bend the universe however they so felt. So it isn't outside the realm of possibility.

However I see my work isn't done. My new memories show that this world still suffers like my old universe used to. Resources are still not enough for everyone. I know my new purpose, I will bring balance to this new world.

For I am inevitable.

—————————————————————

**I watched Endgame and wanted to write a fic about it. Turns out that there's a lack of Thanos SIs so I decided why not. Any suggestions, criticism, or thoughts are appreciated from you guys. **

**This may be about our SI-OC or OG!Thanos going around and screwing things up. One of them might be dropped or both will be kept, not really sure on that. **


	2. This was astonishing

I got my reincarnation. I feel alive after all. So I open my eyes to-What the hell?!

I open my eyes to find that I'm Thanos, again. Big purple hand and Infinity Gauntlet right in front of me. I even give my chin a rub to confirm it. Yep, I'm Thanos.

But this wasn't the beginning nor end of Infinity War, I'm back in that damned hut. Reality is often disappointing.

I take off the Gauntlet as my hand hurts and take a walk. I'll need it.

Outside

This place is beautiful once you take a moment to look around, so I can see why Thanos decided to live here. Clear skies, damaged food web, no loud noises, no pollution. Hell if I could've come here in my original life I'd gladly do it. But what I don't understand is how could he not have any technology out here. You'd figure that space tech would be really good for farming, except the big guy here preferred to be old fashioned. Great, a 'hard worker'.

So I try to remember what Thanos had planned for after he completed his goal. I need a way off if I want to avoid getting my arms and/or head chopped off, not a pleasant experience I'll tell you.

Ok, the gist of it was get Infinity Gauntlet, get Infinity Stones, wipe out half of all sentient life on every planet (He was mad but he wasn't stupid), and live a peaceful life with a grateful universe. Also destroy the Infinity Stones, that was an afterthought sadly.

So that's it huh. No technology to defend, call help, or entertain myself with. Just me, a suit of armor with a sword, and the once most powerful weapon in the MCU.

So a fight isn't going to save my ass. Neither will a two day training montage for said fight. The next best thing would be to….. what?

Perhaps the next best thing is to fake my death. Make it look like the Infinity Gauntlet killed me. That could work, I'd just have to find somewhere to hide so that neither Thor or Karen can find me. The best case scenario would be that they fuck off to look for the "scattered" Infinity Stones. The worst case is they don't fall for it and scour the entire planet for me, which wouldn't be so far fetched.

Two days later

I've spent a day naked and hiding in an underwater cave. With the absence of any tech or hut on the surface they'd have no reason to search underground for me. Ha! Try to kill me now bitches!

Basically the plan was do extreme damage to that stupid hut and damage my clothes. Leave those around the damaged Infinity Gauntlet. This time they should think I'm dead and fuck off.

Sure I'm naked and cold but it's a small price to pay for salvation.

However my victory is cut short once a sling ring interrupts my thoughts as I fall through it.

Hold up sling ring!

Oh shit I'm totally screwed. I planned for Carol, Thor, and Bruce! But someho-memories come pouring in. You've got to be kidding me.

And now I land in front of Doctor Strange and the other snapped Avengers. As I feel a breeze I now feel embarrassment with fear. At least Thanos was pretty huge like last time.

"Now get- What the fuck?!" The Doctor attempted to say before my nudity made itself known. "Why are you naked?!" He shouts in horror and confusion.

With everyone stunned I grabbed my sword and attempted to cut Strange in half. His shock wore off as he dodged and held my arm in place with a whip. Everyone else is snapped out of it and goes into action.

Another Slightly More Desperate Struggle Later

"You kept kicking me in the dick. Why did ya have to keep going for mah dick." And I end my rant with a low pitched squeal.

Once again I found myself armless while restrained by a lot of people. Sad how history repeats itself. At least I actually did some damage. I killed Groot and cut off Bucky's human arm.

"Why the hell are you naked!?"

I grin before replying. "See something you lik-" I get stabbed in my back. Damn it I didn't see Drax there.

"Forget about that!" Doctor Strange orders before turning his attention back to the real question.

"Where are the Infinity Stones? Your diversion failed, none of us are that stupid."

Ain't that the one million dollar question. Now what do I do. I tell the truth, I end up dying. I lie and I also end up dying. And I certainly can't tell them about my true origin otherwise I'd still die. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. A little miffed that my genius plan failed that easily.

So I open my mouth.

"Where is that Starlord guy?"

I was curious. Peter should be here considering Gamora's death and all.

"Peter couldn't make it. We were all furious at him for screwing up our plan in stealing the Gauntlet from you. So we beat him into a coma." Drax explains. Ha! Good to know he got what he deserved. Everyone else gets even more pissed off hearing his name.

"Just answer the question! Where are the Stones?"

I guess I should answer as I'll die regardless. Again let's have fun.

"They're gone. If I had them all then you all would be dead faster than you can say "Dormammu, I've come to bargain." This strikes a nerve with Strange, definitely trauma from repeatedly dying, as I get another stab wound. Ow. Worth it though, gave me a chuckle remembering it.

"You used them two days ago! Explain that!"

"I scattered them across the universe at random. The Stones were useless to me as I'd won. You may dread it, you may run from it, but it is futile for destiny has arrived. And it is here to stay. So kill me, I die leaving behind a grateful universe. And perhaps someday you all will be too." I finish with a smug grin. Anime girl Wendy's level smug.

It quickly dropped as everyone began to gangbang me. And as I have no arms you can see how well that went. It wasn't PG-13. And they still kept going for my dick.

If I reincarnate, please put me in Infinity War, or anywhere else. I'm really salty about dying twice and in painful ways.

—————————————————————-

I found Scott's, now my, apartment. I enter the keys and walk inside. I open the fridge in search of something to drink. This should do. I pop a bottle open and rest on the sofa. The drink is weak compared to the alcohol off planet but it works for this body.

Apparently this world has knowledge of me. I was popular. I was hated. Not different from what I had encountered in my past life.

But these humans knew far far more. I recall much of this planet's media. Twenty two movies showed the lives of those who tried to stop me from completing my goal.

The lives of Stark and those on Titan to those on Earth. Even Gamora…. and mine as well.

Infinity War is what they called it. My quest to gather the Infinity Stones and bring balance to the universe. The struggles and sacrifices I and others had made. All for their entertainment. That was all they saw. Fictional entertainment.

I am not sure how to feel. That my life's work and struggle was fabricated for viewing pleasure.

However there was the existence of the multiverse. I had gained the confirmation of such knowledge when I held the complete Infinity Gauntlet. The Mind Stone held all of the universe's secrets. This was one of them.

But it is still shocking to see this with my own eyes.

I need to…. reflect. Perhaps the internet will be a good place to do so.


	3. Death by Meme-Thanos Reacts to a Movie

Ok.

I'm here, again. Whyyyy

At least those assholes are stuck on a goose chase for Infinity Stones that they'll never find. Especially since those stones are atoms now.

But first things first. Is there anything you forgot to tell me memories?

I get stabbed, cue the snap, the poof away and- oh you got to be fucking kidding me.

Good thing Thanos knew how to make booze. I'm going to need a lot of it.

Another good thing is that this Thanos actually came prepared.

—————————————————————

Two Days Later

Oh boy that is exactly what I needed. Dying three times sucks man. By bus, by Stormbraker, then by gang bang. I'm done, let those superheroes come and try.

So I spent the two days drunk and high. Considering the fact that Thanos' body was pretty durable I'm sure that it can handle the side effects.

But the main reason for this wasn't only the fact that I might die again. Oh no no because there were chances of escaping alive but now oh no.

BOOM

A powerful beam of energy burst through my hut sending 'Thanos' outside. When 'he' lands I find what normally would get the entire audience roaring.

The entire roster of the Avengers. Snapped, spared, or new. Minus Tony and Ant-Man

Now you can see why I had it give up pretty easily. There was no chance in hell that either I or it could possibly beat them all. But sometimes the best ideas you can get are from hitting that dank space kush. Simply put, bullshiting. Plus the remains of the Black Order.

Everyone in an instant starts to restrain it. Webs, magic or just plain old brute force. While Thanos could break out of their hold, don't bother. Way too many of them. And of course it loses an arm, I'm not really surprised. But luckily the LMD was effective.

Captain America walks up to my model with a determined aura, confidence and hope mixed in. Ready to ask that damn question.

"Where are th-"

"The stones aren't here, Starkfucker." But I don't feel like letting him finish. Then he throws that shield at my face. Vibranium may not cut his skin that shit still hurts.

"He's right. The stones are gone." Rocket says after checking the Gauntlet from my fallen hand.

Steve brings his attention back to 'me'. The aura is still there but now anger and confusion are added in.

"What did you-"

"They're gone Buckyblower. Just like your relationship with Sta-" This time 'I'm' interrupted by Bucky shooting "me" in the eye. Ouch.

"Where. Are. The. Stones!" Steve demands sick of my trolling.

Now is the time for bullshiting.

"The stones have served their purpose, now they are mere atoms. But do not worry, I'm sure you can find them soon, IN HELL! SELF DESTRUCT!!!" The android states before exploding.

Those who were holding the Android took the explosion face first as there was no time to escape. But the others were still affected.

"What the hell just happened?" Bucky asked unsure. Especially as he looked at the metallic remains of 'Thanos'.

But before he could get a response he was blitzed by Outriders.

"Bucky!! No!!" Steve cried out in horror as The Winter Soldier was being beaten to death. There were no last words for Bucky, only pain, tears, and unrequited love.

Everyone else was busy fending off the swarm of Thanos' forces. Unlike the Battle of Wakanda they had no back up. They were alone against an unforgiving force of death. Just like I was.

—————————————————————

To explain what's going on I'll make it quick. No one likes flashbacks after all.

So basically this version of Thanos wasn't an idiot and knew that with all of the Avengers alive that they'd come after him. And of course the Mad Titan he may be, he still wanted to live. So he kept a communication device to the remains of his forces just in case. I'm really glad that they are still devoted to me.

So I had them come and pick me up. Then I had them leave a Life Model Decoy of myself on Titan II. Apparently Thanos had this technology for infiltration missions.

Who am I to complain about convenient space technology.

After the ThAndroid self destruct I had my ground forces pull a Blitzkrieg. Now I will finally have my revenge for my deaths.

—————————————————————

And here I am now. Standing in Thanos' capital ship, the Sanctuary II. With said ship leading a fleet of the most cutting edge warships in the galaxy.

"Sire, your plan worked brilliantly. What is our next course of action?" Random Grunt #211211435 asked.

"Rain fire on those fuckers. I want every ship we have to bombard the planet. To the point that even the planet itself is nothing more than a wasteland. Afterwards send out 5 legions of our best troops to incinerate any remains." I order. The grunt looks at me confused but my glare forced him back to work.

Why go through all of that. Well simply put I wasn't taking any chances at all. All of them had to die for my survival and even one of them could be a problem. From Strange, Thor, or Karen to Peter, Rocket, or even Mantis.

After that I'll go conquer the Earth because I wanted to pour a bag of salt on the Avengers. Plus to take care of anyone who'd come for revenge like Stark or Scott.

"MUHAHAHAHA! ha." I'm not very good at evil laughter. But I'm broken from my thoughts by an alarm. Of course she's alive.

"Focus all of our firepower and shoot that bitch to hell!" I order quickly. Strong as Carol maybe she couldn't possibly survive a bombardment from all of my ships.

She puts a valiant effort but she falls in five minutes. Although she took out only a couple of ships. But the lives of grunts don't really matter.

Two Hours Later

"Sire, I am positive that all life on and in that planet is gone. No being could possibly survive that, if they did then they'd be dead soon." Higher ranked Grunt tells me.

So I agree to leave. But I had five ships stay behind to continue the orbital bombardment.

Now on to Earth.

—————————————————————

Earth. Home sweet home. Now granted this wasn't my Earth but it was close enough. Now to conquer it to fulfill my new role as an Avenger, avenging myself. I'm a salty guy don't judge me.

However I noticed something strange. What might that be? The entire cast of the Avengers except they're in the suits from the Endgame trailer. This time includes Ant-Man and Iron Man. Oh god oh fuck.

"AVENGERS! assemble." Why would you shout and then whisper. That's just weird. But I can just hear the theme playing as they all get ready to kick my ass.

Perhaps with an army at my side things might change. Perhaps I won't die at the hands of the Avengers for the third time. Fuck yeah let's do-Who am I kidding I'm gonna die.

A Desperate Struggle But This Time It Was Cooler Because Of The Theme Song

Again I lost both arms. Why is this so common? But this time I got Hawkeye, Rocket, Mantis, and Spider-Man. Better than last time that's for sure.

Out of everyone I notice something frightening. I can't see Ant-Man anywhere.

Oh No. As I really didn't want to die by meme I started screaming and thrashing about. I actually break free and start running to the nearest escape pod. That was pretty easy. Unfortunately I can see why.

The best way to describe what I felt would be akin to a poop that continues to grow inside of you. Except that it has a breaking point in which you pop. VERY PAINFUL.

But look at the bright side. I actually killed the Avengers. And then they cheated by using time travel and plot hax. But at least I killed some of them.

—————————————————————

—————————————————————

What I've found on the internet was...surprising. It was appreciated that there are those that can agree with my plan. Although that is muddled with people jokingly believing. Perhaps I could use that to complete my goal.

I had a few discussions online with other people about this. Most of these were 'memes' but there were serious ones. I explained my point of view in clear detail. Some came to share my view and some were assured in their own. Of course there were those who called me a madman.

However during my travels on the internet I've heard mention of 'Endgame', the sequel to 'Infinity War'. I had to know what happened. To see the effect I have brought upon my home universe. Unfortunately I fear that it will be reversed.

3 Hours Later

That was……an experience. I could come to terms with dying on Titan II. I expected that some who were upset would come for revenge.

And I remember myself from the past. Such a brash and arrogant one I was, it was only through my struggle to complete the Infinity Gauntlet did I become who I was. I couldn't blame him for his attitude as his future was confirmed, destiny was a fickle mistress

However what angered me was the fact that they made Gamora's death meaningless. Balance was distorted. All of my struggles was for not.

But no matter. Balance can always be restored. And I'll start with them, Marvel Studios.


End file.
